Pity Party First, Kick Ass Later

Sister, I know how it is because I've been there. The world is screaming "calm down" but you know that that's not an option. You want to scream, swear, stomp your feet, pout, binge watch netflix with your favorite comfort food, curl up in a ball, cry, and make the world revolve around your pain. Well guess what? You should. 

I am a firm believer that you must pity party first, and kick ass later. 

Success and inspiration can be found in the lowest of places. Let yourself have a pity party, eat an entire tub of ice cream, binge watch trash tv, scream at the universe; then you will be able to tackle your issues and conquer the world. Pity Party First, Kick Ass Later. 

Ugly Self-Care is a THING! 

To some people, self care means putting on your favorite facial mask with a bath bomb. However to a lot of us, self care means ugly crying and screaming at the "master creator" for what they have done for you. I call this "ugly self-care" but in reality, it has the most beautiful results. Let me tell you why this works: 

  • You cannot overcome a victim mindset without first thinking like a victim. 
  • You cannot live a happy and productive life with pains and challenges clouding your brain. 
  • It is okay to experience emotions; they are natural. 
  • If you do not let yourself feel, your body and spirit takes on the burdens of the emotional body.

The Victim Mindset vs. The Hero Mindset

Be the hero in your story and overcome that victim mindset. 

Be the hero in your story and overcome that victim mindset. 

A good story begins with a naive character, the challenge that they endure, and their heroic rise to overcome. A victim mindset is someone who is naive, faces a challenge, and lives in the realm of things like "why me" or "story of my life." They believe that unjust things will always happen to them; thus attracting more negativity into their life. To be a hero, we must first be the victim. Experience victimhood. Figure out your escape. Figure out the obstacles you have to overcome. Turn yourself into a survivor. 

Best Way To Move Clouds Is To First Storm

What happens when the sky is overcast? You pray for it to just rain, thunder, lightning- anything!!! to bring back your beautiful blue sky. Let your body cry it out, let your body scream it out, punch a pillow, do what you need to do to recover. If you keep those pent up emotions inside, your brain will suffer. The Director of the Psychiatry Research Lab at St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center states, "People say they feel better after crying and our data shows this is so." Frey's studies have proven that crying is the body's natural response to any sort of stress, and that many feel comforted and relieved after letting it out. It has been shown that lack of tears can contribute to stress and brain disease down the road.

If you don't let it OUT, your body and aura take on the burdens of keeping it pent up inside

Built up anger, aggression, and stress lingers in the energy body and can cause migraines, tension, and inflammation. It can also contribute to poor gut health like indigestion and constipation. Not to mention your energy suffers greatly. Your aura will be clouded. People will come into contact with you less and less because your energy is no longer compelling. Friends may disappear or treat you differently. Your subtle body will suffer. 

Take a look at how keeping our emotions bottled up effects the chakras. This is what makes it so important to experience our feelings, thoughts, and emotions. If you keep everything pent up inside, your subtle body suffers; and thus creates a more problematic mood, mindset, and physical health. 

Observe Your Emotions, Then Let Your Emotions Pass

There is a great meditation known as "Leaves on the Stream." In this exercise, you take every thought you have and place it on a leaf floating down the river. This allows you to observe that thought or emotion, and watch it pass. Learning this technique can help you in your day-to-day life by not beating yourself up for experiencing an emotion but also not holding on to that emotion. It helps you separate yourself from that emotion by extending an awareness, and also can help you detach from it to let it float away. Listen below. 

Set this as your phone background for a peaceful reminder whenever you check the time or texts. Leaves on a stream mindfulness exercise will help you observe and let go. 

Set this as your phone background for a peaceful reminder whenever you check the time or texts. Leaves on a stream mindfulness exercise will help you observe and let go. 

It is human nature to feel, and dangerous to push our feelings aside. To delve into your emotional responses is the ultimate form of courage and strength. To let the tears pour out, the cries and screams be heard, to let yourself be in a state of darkness. Once you are submerged in the darkness you will be able to find your way to the light easier. If you harbor these emotions within you for too long, they will escalate and worsen. PLEASE allow yourself a pity party for whatever bad news you have experienced... and then conquer from there. 

When Does the Pity Party End? 

Deadlines are so important! This will help prevent you from letting your pity party spiral out of control into a prolonged state of depression and victimhood. Mine is anywhere from 1-3 days then you can begin faking it. You may not be completely healed, but you will feel a lot better. Over time, faking it can help you return to your normal self. It can help patch up the holes that were left open after such a big release of emotion. It can replenish your soul and counteract the difficult emotions that you just experienced. 

What is Your Ugly Self-Care / Pity Party Ritual? 

I LOVE to hear from my readers! Let me know what your go-to ugly self care routine is or how letting it out has helped you feel good enough to conquer your goals and kick ass! 

An Upstate New Yorker's Guide To Crystal Shopping

If you're an Upstate New Yorker like me, you may have had some trouble finding the perfect spot to get your healing crystals. When I lived in the Catskills, I used to drive over an hour to shop for stones, so I understand the struggle - and yes it is real. I hope this guide can help you find the crystal shop of your dreams. 

Tushita Heaven - Saratoga Springs

My favorite!!! I used to love going to this store and would reserve an entire day to browse. The crystals this store has have a unique, beautiful, light energy. I feel as though of all my crystals, the ones from Tushita Heaven have the strongest power. The only trouble I had with this store is the prices were a little high for what I was used to seeing. However, for the quality and the energy - it was well worth the price. From tumbled stones, to palm stones, to collector's pieces - they've got it all. I was also impressed by this store's book and oracle card selection. While you're shopping at Tushita Heaven, be sure to get a reading. They get some of the best psychics and tarot readers. Tushita Heaven is also my favorite place to buy gifts; they carry several home decor items that I have gifted to others that are still absolutely treasured by them. 

Photo From  Tushita Heaven

Photo From Tushita Heaven

 

The best place to park is in the free parking garage located just around the corner! Tushita Heaven is full of great finds. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled so you don't miss out on anything! My favorite crystal I have brought from this store is a Fenster Quartz that has the perfect enhydro. You can literally see the water droplet move. 

The Magic Moon - Saratoga Springs

This shop is located at 15 Phila St., Saratoga Springs, New York 12866  Photo from  Yelp

This shop is located at 15 Phila St., Saratoga Springs, New York 12866

Photo from Yelp

While you are shopping in Saratoga Springs, be sure to walk around the corner to visit The Magic Moon. One thing I love about this store is their friendly staff. It is so difficult to walk into a crystal shop and be left alone while you want to browse, as some people want to be the guru and even sometimes a security officer. However, when you have a question, the customer service is impeccable and the ladies here know their stuff!

This used to be a small crowded store, but they have expanded since I last visited. While you're there, check out the dressing room! The artwork on the walls was unforgettable, feminine, and expressive. This store is amazing for purchasing candles, clothes, and of course CRYSTALS! This shop opened in the 1970's, contributing to Saratoga Springs' amazing history. 

They have some beautiful pieces behind the counter, but many items around the store that you are free to touch. Photo from  Yelp

They have some beautiful pieces behind the counter, but many items around the store that you are free to touch. Photo from Yelp

This store fills every nook and cranny with their wide variety. They have everything for the hippie, the witch, and the spiritualist. I've bought many crystals, gifts, bumper stickers, candles, and oils from here. They also have some really cute clothes - perfect for festival season! 

Tannãre - Walton

Some of Tammy's beautiful furniture! Photo from  Facebook

Some of Tammy's beautiful furniture! Photo from Facebook

I am blessed to be friends with the owner of this eclectic boutique, Tammy - a loving goddess who is tough as a nail and still has the biggest heart. Her shop is full of artisan crafts from the gorgeous furniture she upcycles and custom signs she creates, to goods crafted by local artists. There are many talented people in our small county who don't get the recognition they deserve, and Tannãre offers them a chance to display their wonderful items. From everything to unique woodcarvings, to jewelry, to custom cards (I also have a few products in her store!). Tannãre is also a great place to fulfill your natural needs. The owner creates her own line of Full Moon Elixirs: natural goods including body scrubs, laundry detergents, and my favorite - the waxing and waning body whip. 

Tannãre frequently gives back to the community by composing beautiful gift baskets to be auctioned or raffled. She recently has begun offering "Creating Chaos" classes to give the community a chance to express themselves creatively by offering art projects that you can take home (and want to take home - step aside, paint & sip!!!

Obviously this store wouldn't be mentioned if it weren't for the crystals she offers! From amazing deals on her Himalayan Salt Lamps, to beautiful tumbled stones, to spells in a jar. She sometimes carries home decor for the bohemian soul; such as beautiful dreamcatchers or tapestries. 

Props to Tannãre for bringing a bit of light into our rural community! This shop is a true hidden gem (no pun intended!) 

Located at 150 Delaware St., Walton, NY 13856.

Shop Tannãre's amazing line of Full Moon Elixir products - sugar scrubs, himalayan salt scrubs, body whip, laundry soap, and so much more! Photo from  Facebook.

Shop Tannãre's amazing line of Full Moon Elixir products - sugar scrubs, himalayan salt scrubs, body whip, laundry soap, and so much more! Photo from Facebook.

A crystal shop in the catskills!? Photo from  facebook.

A crystal shop in the catskills!? Photo from facebook.

The hidden gem of Delaware County, New York! Photo from  facebook.

The hidden gem of Delaware County, New York! Photo from facebook.

Crystal Connection - Wurtsboro

"The Church of a Thousand Crystals"    Photo here. 

"The Church of a Thousand Crystals" 

Photo here. 

This shop has gotten some awesome attention lately from Insider's video that went viral. If you missed it, you can watch it below. If you plan on checking out this shop, be sure to make a day of it because there is just so much to see. I love Crystal Connection for providing knowledge and information to the public. They offer a ton of workshops and classes. Crystal Connection is also more than a store, it a place of healing and self knowledge. While you're here try a reiki session, a reading, or even aura photography to see what your aura looks like. This shop also offers psychic fairs! 

This beautiful shop has amazing prices on crystals and an immense selection. With all the hype of this store, they truly keep their prices affordable for all to enjoy the beauty and energy of the stones. This store is for the spiritual one, the one seeking enlightenment, the one possessing magic. However, if you are just learning stones - this is a great place to start. 

The location of Crystal Connection is 116 Sullivan St, Wurtsboro NY 12790. 

Must....touch....everything! Can you feel the energy from the picture?   Photo  here.

Must....touch....everything! Can you feel the energy from the picture? 

Photo here.

Nutz - Wappingers Falls

 

If you're more of a hippie than a goddess, I say go to Nutz! When I first pulled into the parking lot of this store, I did not believe that crystals were going to be inside! However, they have a huge selection of crystals, singing bowls, smudge sticks, deity figures, and oils - even among all the bongs and pipes (for tobacco, of course). They have a wide selection of incense and candles, tapestries, and everything else you could ever want out of a store. However, if you're like me and you want to touch the crystals before you buy, this may not be the shop for you. Most of their items are locked away. Feeling the energy of the stones is a huge part of the crystal shopping experience, so if you want to tap into that vibe, I would recommend a store that lets you do that instead. 

Photo from yelp. 

Photo from yelp. 

Dreaming Goddess - Poughkeepsie

The Dreaming Goddess is a shop like no others. From one twenty-something-year-old-free-spirit-love-and-light-believer-modern-flower-child to the next, this is the shop to go to!!! They have beautiful clothes (the kind we actually WANT to wear), they carry beautiful crystals, and they offer classes - another store that's not afraid to share their knowledge and light. This store combines the sacred culture behind esoteric practices with a modern twist. They tend to our current culture, but do not allow us to forget the beauty in ancient practices.

Give me ALL the Amethyst! Photo  here. 

Give me ALL the Amethyst! Photo here. 

"We’re creating ceremony relevant to our time and to our culture, allowing these auspicious days to have deep meaning in our lives and in our connection to the Earth. "
- The Dreaming Goddess
Photo here. 

Photo here. 

Sacred sprays, herbs, roots, resins, candles, oils, tumbled stones, raw crystals, exquisite specimens, jewelry, and pottery are just some of the wonderful products offered by this shop. This shop also recycles your old books! Great way to save the trees and spread the love! Another way this shop gives back is by helping build bridges for their customers and an array of charities. Pay it forward, get karma on your side, help one in need, and donate as you shop. 

A metaphysical boutique! A true beauty of a shop. Photo from  yelp . 

A metaphysical boutique! A true beauty of a shop. Photo from yelp

Once again, boho babe, you've found the store for you. You've found the place to build connection with yourself, with like-minded souls, with the beauty of the earth, and with spirit. This is not just a crystal shop, this is a boutique for the modern goddess. 

Located 44 Raymond Ave, Poughkeepsie, NY 12603

Don't forget to head around the corner to the sanctuary. Info & photo  here. 

Don't forget to head around the corner to the sanctuary. Info & photo here. 

Where to find the best new age, metaphysical, crystal shops in upstate new york; northern new york, western new york, southern new york, central new york, the hudson valley, and the capital region. 

Crystal Shops In Upstate New York

Central New York

Western New York

Southeast New York

Northern New York

Hudson Valley New York

Capital Region New York

South Central New York

Thank you for reading! Please keep in touch - let me know how your crystal shopping goes and which of these was your favorite. 

The Key To Happiness: Surrendering to Life

I didn't create a happier life by sitting back and waiting for things to get better. I surrendered to the bad, thanked the universe for the bad, and said, "bring it on!" The following anecdote helps me visualize happiness when times get tough. Use it to help you see how to achieve freedom and happiness.

happinesswithandzensome

Have you ever noticed what it feels like to be a passenger in the car on a route you normally take? All of the sudden you start noticing things you've missed before, like a beautiful patch of wildflowers or an abandoned farm, a quirky name for a road or a beautiful sunset. 

When you are the driver you miss these things because you are attached to your destination, staying in between the lines, making the trip in good time, stopping when you need to stop, going when you need to go, and turning when you need to turn. 

When you begin to live life as if you are the driver, you become so focused on the destination that you lose sight in the thrill of adventure. You might ignore the things around you that make you smile, and all the things that make your journey worth it. 

When you choose to live life as a passenger, you begin to see the world around you in a different way. Trust that there is a driver to your destination and you will get to where you need to be no matter what. You no longer feel the need to control the car or to worry about the time in which you arrive. You no longer feel the need to stay in the lines or worry about proper directions. Now you begin to see the things in your world that are there to make you smile - that may have been there all along.

This is called surrender. It is the key to happiness. 

Surrender can also mean letting go completely of the destination. 

I once read about a fun date idea: to get in the car and flip a coin. If its heads, you turn right. If its tails, you turn left. Imagine living your life this way and letting go of any attachment to an outcome or a destination and you just went with the flow. The world is full of possibilities. Of back roads and dirt roads and highways and crossroads and bike trails and oceans for you to cross. Don't worry about the destination, just trust you will get there. 

Trying to control your life will bring you nothing but stress, anger, and discontent. You will never feel like you are complete if you are always trying to control the universe, the people around you, and your path. Your moment is bigger than you. The world is bigger than you. Life is bigger than you. Let yourself feel the peace that comes with surrender. Take a big sigh and put it in the hands of your driver.  

You will find greater joy in the happy things in your world, if you trust that there is a force that will take care of your goals. Whatever divine force you believe in, whether it is the Universe or God or a Guardian Angel...who/whatever. Trust that they have a plan. Every body is born with a purpose and with that purpose comes a path. The hard times are meant to put you there. Those hard times will later develop into something amazing. Every transformation starts with a fire or an end. As for the good times - begin to enjoy them. Trust that its okay to put your work down or let go of something and have fun, relax, or take a breath of fresh air. 

[Enjoying this article so far? Check out THIS ONE for related advice!]  Click this link to learn how to Release Attachments

The art of surrender requires not only a great deal of trust, but of learning to accept that every single moment is fleeting. The famous quote: "This too shall pass." Has as much to do with the good days as it does the bad days. Every bad moment will pass, of course it will. However, you must accept that your good will soon fade away. So embrace it while it is at your reach. Trust that everything you are worried about is taken care of and go after what makes you happy. Chase the things that make you smile. They will soon pass. Surrender to this fact. So many people get worked up over their good times not lasting or find themselves saying "oh great - another bump in the road." But you must know that another good time will soon come. Surrender to these bad times, and it will be much easier to enjoy the great times while they are there. 

So... how do you let go of control & surrender? 

There are many ways to help you surrender. If you have ever been told that you are "too tense" or need to "just relax"... then you're not only a lot like me, but you might have trouble coping with the bad times and figuring out HOW to surrender. My best advice for this is to literally train your brain. With every bad time, think of a silver lining. Say thank you to the universe whenever you feel like your life is out of control. Learn to appreciate the bad moments in life because you will never be stressed. You can also train your brain by accepting a negative outcome and thinking of backup plans. Have a list of things you may want to be or do in life. Go down the list and picture a fulfilling life with each one of those things. Maybe in one life you are happily married with kids, but in another you are a CEO of 6 companies and a beautiful home, and in another you are an online blogger traveling the world. Keep your goals, keep your dreams, but accept yourself through all the alternatives. And of course, visualize there is a driver taking you to where you need to be! 

My Favorite Crystals for Letting Go: 

AndZenSomeAmmolite

Ammolite

Helps free you from expectation and the past

Variscite And Zen Some

Variscite

Relieves any worries, fears, or doubts.

Larimar Meaning And Zen Some

Larimar

Go with the flow & the changing tides of life.

Crystals to Boost Creativity

Struggling to find your creative talent? Unsure of where to begin? Experiencing artist's block? Let these crystals inspire you, motivate you, and boost your creativity. 

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