Pity Party First, Kick Ass Later

Sister, I know how it is because I've been there. The world is screaming "calm down" but you know that that's not an option. You want to scream, swear, stomp your feet, pout, binge watch netflix with your favorite comfort food, curl up in a ball, cry, and make the world revolve around your pain. Well guess what? You should. 

I am a firm believer that you must pity party first, and kick ass later. 

Success and inspiration can be found in the lowest of places. Let yourself have a pity party, eat an entire tub of ice cream, binge watch trash tv, scream at the universe; then you will be able to tackle your issues and conquer the world. Pity Party First, Kick Ass Later. 

Ugly Self-Care is a THING! 

To some people, self care means putting on your favorite facial mask with a bath bomb. However to a lot of us, self care means ugly crying and screaming at the "master creator" for what they have done for you. I call this "ugly self-care" but in reality, it has the most beautiful results. Let me tell you why this works: 

  • You cannot overcome a victim mindset without first thinking like a victim. 
  • You cannot live a happy and productive life with pains and challenges clouding your brain. 
  • It is okay to experience emotions; they are natural. 
  • If you do not let yourself feel, your body and spirit takes on the burdens of the emotional body.

The Victim Mindset vs. The Hero Mindset

Be the hero in your story and overcome that victim mindset. 

Be the hero in your story and overcome that victim mindset. 

A good story begins with a naive character, the challenge that they endure, and their heroic rise to overcome. A victim mindset is someone who is naive, faces a challenge, and lives in the realm of things like "why me" or "story of my life." They believe that unjust things will always happen to them; thus attracting more negativity into their life. To be a hero, we must first be the victim. Experience victimhood. Figure out your escape. Figure out the obstacles you have to overcome. Turn yourself into a survivor. 

Best Way To Move Clouds Is To First Storm

What happens when the sky is overcast? You pray for it to just rain, thunder, lightning- anything!!! to bring back your beautiful blue sky. Let your body cry it out, let your body scream it out, punch a pillow, do what you need to do to recover. If you keep those pent up emotions inside, your brain will suffer. The Director of the Psychiatry Research Lab at St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center states, "People say they feel better after crying and our data shows this is so." Frey's studies have proven that crying is the body's natural response to any sort of stress, and that many feel comforted and relieved after letting it out. It has been shown that lack of tears can contribute to stress and brain disease down the road.

If you don't let it OUT, your body and aura take on the burdens of keeping it pent up inside

Built up anger, aggression, and stress lingers in the energy body and can cause migraines, tension, and inflammation. It can also contribute to poor gut health like indigestion and constipation. Not to mention your energy suffers greatly. Your aura will be clouded. People will come into contact with you less and less because your energy is no longer compelling. Friends may disappear or treat you differently. Your subtle body will suffer. 

Take a look at how keeping our emotions bottled up effects the chakras. This is what makes it so important to experience our feelings, thoughts, and emotions. If you keep everything pent up inside, your subtle body suffers; and thus creates a more problematic mood, mindset, and physical health. 

Observe Your Emotions, Then Let Your Emotions Pass

There is a great meditation known as "Leaves on the Stream." In this exercise, you take every thought you have and place it on a leaf floating down the river. This allows you to observe that thought or emotion, and watch it pass. Learning this technique can help you in your day-to-day life by not beating yourself up for experiencing an emotion but also not holding on to that emotion. It helps you separate yourself from that emotion by extending an awareness, and also can help you detach from it to let it float away. Listen below. 

Set this as your phone background for a peaceful reminder whenever you check the time or texts. Leaves on a stream mindfulness exercise will help you observe and let go. 

Set this as your phone background for a peaceful reminder whenever you check the time or texts. Leaves on a stream mindfulness exercise will help you observe and let go. 

It is human nature to feel, and dangerous to push our feelings aside. To delve into your emotional responses is the ultimate form of courage and strength. To let the tears pour out, the cries and screams be heard, to let yourself be in a state of darkness. Once you are submerged in the darkness you will be able to find your way to the light easier. If you harbor these emotions within you for too long, they will escalate and worsen. PLEASE allow yourself a pity party for whatever bad news you have experienced... and then conquer from there. 

When Does the Pity Party End? 

Deadlines are so important! This will help prevent you from letting your pity party spiral out of control into a prolonged state of depression and victimhood. Mine is anywhere from 1-3 days then you can begin faking it. You may not be completely healed, but you will feel a lot better. Over time, faking it can help you return to your normal self. It can help patch up the holes that were left open after such a big release of emotion. It can replenish your soul and counteract the difficult emotions that you just experienced. 

What is Your Ugly Self-Care / Pity Party Ritual? 

I LOVE to hear from my readers! Let me know what your go-to ugly self care routine is or how letting it out has helped you feel good enough to conquer your goals and kick ass! 

An Upstate New Yorker's Guide To Crystal Shopping

If you're an Upstate New Yorker like me, you may have had some trouble finding the perfect spot to get your healing crystals. When I lived in the Catskills, I used to drive over an hour to shop for stones, so I understand the struggle - and yes it is real. I hope this guide can help you find the crystal shop of your dreams. 

Tushita Heaven - Saratoga Springs

My favorite!!! I used to love going to this store and would reserve an entire day to browse. The crystals this store has have a unique, beautiful, light energy. I feel as though of all my crystals, the ones from Tushita Heaven have the strongest power. The only trouble I had with this store is the prices were a little high for what I was used to seeing. However, for the quality and the energy - it was well worth the price. From tumbled stones, to palm stones, to collector's pieces - they've got it all. I was also impressed by this store's book and oracle card selection. While you're shopping at Tushita Heaven, be sure to get a reading. They get some of the best psychics and tarot readers. Tushita Heaven is also my favorite place to buy gifts; they carry several home decor items that I have gifted to others that are still absolutely treasured by them. 

Photo From  Tushita Heaven

Photo From Tushita Heaven

 

The best place to park is in the free parking garage located just around the corner! Tushita Heaven is full of great finds. Be sure to keep your eyes peeled so you don't miss out on anything! My favorite crystal I have brought from this store is a Fenster Quartz that has the perfect enhydro. You can literally see the water droplet move. 

The Magic Moon - Saratoga Springs

This shop is located at 15 Phila St., Saratoga Springs, New York 12866  Photo from  Yelp

This shop is located at 15 Phila St., Saratoga Springs, New York 12866

Photo from Yelp

While you are shopping in Saratoga Springs, be sure to walk around the corner to visit The Magic Moon. One thing I love about this store is their friendly staff. It is so difficult to walk into a crystal shop and be left alone while you want to browse, as some people want to be the guru and even sometimes a security officer. However, when you have a question, the customer service is impeccable and the ladies here know their stuff!

This used to be a small crowded store, but they have expanded since I last visited. While you're there, check out the dressing room! The artwork on the walls was unforgettable, feminine, and expressive. This store is amazing for purchasing candles, clothes, and of course CRYSTALS! This shop opened in the 1970's, contributing to Saratoga Springs' amazing history. 

They have some beautiful pieces behind the counter, but many items around the store that you are free to touch. Photo from  Yelp

They have some beautiful pieces behind the counter, but many items around the store that you are free to touch. Photo from Yelp

This store fills every nook and cranny with their wide variety. They have everything for the hippie, the witch, and the spiritualist. I've bought many crystals, gifts, bumper stickers, candles, and oils from here. They also have some really cute clothes - perfect for festival season! 

Tannãre - Walton

Some of Tammy's beautiful furniture! Photo from  Facebook

Some of Tammy's beautiful furniture! Photo from Facebook

I am blessed to be friends with the owner of this eclectic boutique, Tammy - a loving goddess who is tough as a nail and still has the biggest heart. Her shop is full of artisan crafts from the gorgeous furniture she upcycles and custom signs she creates, to goods crafted by local artists. There are many talented people in our small county who don't get the recognition they deserve, and Tannãre offers them a chance to display their wonderful items. From everything to unique woodcarvings, to jewelry, to custom cards (I also have a few products in her store!). Tannãre is also a great place to fulfill your natural needs. The owner creates her own line of Full Moon Elixirs: natural goods including body scrubs, laundry detergents, and my favorite - the waxing and waning body whip. 

Tannãre frequently gives back to the community by composing beautiful gift baskets to be auctioned or raffled. She recently has begun offering "Creating Chaos" classes to give the community a chance to express themselves creatively by offering art projects that you can take home (and want to take home - step aside, paint & sip!!!

Obviously this store wouldn't be mentioned if it weren't for the crystals she offers! From amazing deals on her Himalayan Salt Lamps, to beautiful tumbled stones, to spells in a jar. She sometimes carries home decor for the bohemian soul; such as beautiful dreamcatchers or tapestries. 

Props to Tannãre for bringing a bit of light into our rural community! This shop is a true hidden gem (no pun intended!) 

Located at 150 Delaware St., Walton, NY 13856.

Shop Tannãre's amazing line of Full Moon Elixir products - sugar scrubs, himalayan salt scrubs, body whip, laundry soap, and so much more! Photo from  Facebook.

Shop Tannãre's amazing line of Full Moon Elixir products - sugar scrubs, himalayan salt scrubs, body whip, laundry soap, and so much more! Photo from Facebook.

A crystal shop in the catskills!? Photo from  facebook.

A crystal shop in the catskills!? Photo from facebook.

The hidden gem of Delaware County, New York! Photo from  facebook.

The hidden gem of Delaware County, New York! Photo from facebook.

Crystal Connection - Wurtsboro

"The Church of a Thousand Crystals"    Photo here. 

"The Church of a Thousand Crystals" 

Photo here. 

This shop has gotten some awesome attention lately from Insider's video that went viral. If you missed it, you can watch it below. If you plan on checking out this shop, be sure to make a day of it because there is just so much to see. I love Crystal Connection for providing knowledge and information to the public. They offer a ton of workshops and classes. Crystal Connection is also more than a store, it a place of healing and self knowledge. While you're here try a reiki session, a reading, or even aura photography to see what your aura looks like. This shop also offers psychic fairs! 

This beautiful shop has amazing prices on crystals and an immense selection. With all the hype of this store, they truly keep their prices affordable for all to enjoy the beauty and energy of the stones. This store is for the spiritual one, the one seeking enlightenment, the one possessing magic. However, if you are just learning stones - this is a great place to start. 

The location of Crystal Connection is 116 Sullivan St, Wurtsboro NY 12790. 

Must....touch....everything! Can you feel the energy from the picture?   Photo  here.

Must....touch....everything! Can you feel the energy from the picture? 

Photo here.

Nutz - Wappingers Falls

 

If you're more of a hippie than a goddess, I say go to Nutz! When I first pulled into the parking lot of this store, I did not believe that crystals were going to be inside! However, they have a huge selection of crystals, singing bowls, smudge sticks, deity figures, and oils - even among all the bongs and pipes (for tobacco, of course). They have a wide selection of incense and candles, tapestries, and everything else you could ever want out of a store. However, if you're like me and you want to touch the crystals before you buy, this may not be the shop for you. Most of their items are locked away. Feeling the energy of the stones is a huge part of the crystal shopping experience, so if you want to tap into that vibe, I would recommend a store that lets you do that instead. 

Photo from yelp. 

Photo from yelp. 

Dreaming Goddess - Poughkeepsie

The Dreaming Goddess is a shop like no others. From one twenty-something-year-old-free-spirit-love-and-light-believer-modern-flower-child to the next, this is the shop to go to!!! They have beautiful clothes (the kind we actually WANT to wear), they carry beautiful crystals, and they offer classes - another store that's not afraid to share their knowledge and light. This store combines the sacred culture behind esoteric practices with a modern twist. They tend to our current culture, but do not allow us to forget the beauty in ancient practices.

Give me ALL the Amethyst! Photo  here. 

Give me ALL the Amethyst! Photo here. 

"We’re creating ceremony relevant to our time and to our culture, allowing these auspicious days to have deep meaning in our lives and in our connection to the Earth. "
- The Dreaming Goddess
Photo here. 

Photo here. 

Sacred sprays, herbs, roots, resins, candles, oils, tumbled stones, raw crystals, exquisite specimens, jewelry, and pottery are just some of the wonderful products offered by this shop. This shop also recycles your old books! Great way to save the trees and spread the love! Another way this shop gives back is by helping build bridges for their customers and an array of charities. Pay it forward, get karma on your side, help one in need, and donate as you shop. 

A metaphysical boutique! A true beauty of a shop. Photo from  yelp . 

A metaphysical boutique! A true beauty of a shop. Photo from yelp

Once again, boho babe, you've found the store for you. You've found the place to build connection with yourself, with like-minded souls, with the beauty of the earth, and with spirit. This is not just a crystal shop, this is a boutique for the modern goddess. 

Located 44 Raymond Ave, Poughkeepsie, NY 12603

Don't forget to head around the corner to the sanctuary. Info & photo  here. 

Don't forget to head around the corner to the sanctuary. Info & photo here. 

Where to find the best new age, metaphysical, crystal shops in upstate new york; northern new york, western new york, southern new york, central new york, the hudson valley, and the capital region. 

Crystal Shops In Upstate New York

Central New York

Western New York

Southeast New York

Northern New York

Hudson Valley New York

Capital Region New York

South Central New York

Thank you for reading! Please keep in touch - let me know how your crystal shopping goes and which of these was your favorite. 

Crystal Assistance During Mercury Retrograde

Mercury Retrograde is a period of time (three weeks, but it feels like forever) in which the planet Mercury appears to be in a backwards motion. You may notice yourself feeling groggy or tired... you may notice you are arguing a lot more with those around you or miscommunicating... you may lose track of time/days causing plans to fall through... you may even experience difficulties traveling (traffic, road rage, delays!) So even for those who may not necessarily believe in the power of the planets, we ALL can agree Mercury Retrograde is the worst. So how can you protect yourself during this planetary pain in the a$$??? The answer, as always, is CRYSTALS!  and a bit of advice... 

Mercury Retrograde Dates to Know

2016:

  • Jan 5 - Jan 25
  • Apr 28 - May 22
  • August 30 - Sept 22
  • Dec 19 (2016) - Jan 8 (2017)

2017:

  • Dec 19 (2016) - Jan 8 (2017)
  • Apr 9 - May 3
  • August 12 - Sept 5
  • Dec 3 - Dec 22

    2018:

    • Mar 22 - April 15
    • July 26 - August 18
    • Nov 16 - Dec 6

    Travel Issues

    Click the photo above to purchase this pendant.

    Click the photo above to purchase this pendant.

    Travel is hugely affected by Mercury Retrograde. One of my friends always locks her keys in her car, gets a flat, whatever it may be at least 3 or 4 times during the 3 weeks Mercury is off. Personally, I experience a difference in traffic & weather conditions when I need to get somewhere. They say it is best not to travel during Mercury Retrograde but if its something you can't avoid, try rocking a Smoky Quartz or hanging one in the rearview mirror of your car. Personally, I have one hanging in my car no matter what the status of Mercury may be. Smoky (or smokey) Quartz is a great protector against negativity in all forms. Ancient & metaphysical Lore tells us that Smokey Quartz is the ideal stone to use for protection during travel. It protects against road rage, traffic, weather conditions, other bad drivers, accidents, and problems with the car itself. 

    Communication

    Click the photo above to view this Aquamarine pendant on etsy. 

    Click the photo above to view this Aquamarine pendant on etsy. 

    Miscommunication and misunderstandings are much more likely to happen during Mercury Retrograde. (Good luck to those of you in relationships & brace yourselves...) However, there are so many crystals to help protect you from these mishaps. Aquamarine aids in the flow of thought and words, to help you fluently express yourself and what you need to say. It also has a very gentle calming factor. Amazonite can help you express your personal truth and can also calm overemotionalism. Amazonite is also a good stone for listening to others because it can help you discern the truth in what people say (Mercury Retrograde makes people a little difficult, but this stone can help you realize the goodness behind the words.) Every person is different and will react differently to certain crystals; so if you don't resonate with one of these crystals, check out other throat chakra stones: Blue Kyanite, Sodalite, Labradorite, Blue Opal, Chrysocolla, Blue Chalcedony.

    Decision-making

    Check out a selection of Amethyst pendants by clicking the photo above. 

    Check out a selection of Amethyst pendants by clicking the photo above. 

    They say not to make any huge decisions, purchases, or commitments during Mercury Retrograde. However, I completely disagree. Of course you should think over your decisions carefully and obtain as much information as you can, I think if you are confident with the change you are about to make: GO FOR IT. Use a stone for intuition to guide you on what the best option is: Fluorite and Amethyst.

    Plan-making

    Click the photo above to view these Apatite stones for sale. 

    Click the photo above to view these Apatite stones for sale. 

    Whether its because the dreaded retrograde makes us feel a little scatter-brained, travel issues, or because this odd planetary shift can send us to the strangest of places - plans are definitely subject to change. In my case, plans changing last minute causes me tons of unneeded anxiety & stress, so I have recently started carrying a Prehnite with me, a stone that helps you go with the flow. Conversely, you may want to carry a Blue Apatite which is a wonderful stone for helping you with time management. 

    Technology

    Click the photo above to read more about this Quartz (& Moldavite) wrap. 

    Click the photo above to read more about this Quartz (& Moldavite) wrap. 

    This one drives me crazy, but beware of technology malfunctions during this phenomenon. This could mean your cell phone or computer randomly crash, or everything gets erased; whatever it may be - you can definitely blame Mercury for this one. A simple quartz crystal has strong influence on technology and can ensure that everything is running properly. A safer idea is to back up everything and press save over a dozen times!!

    Overall, Mercury Retrograde can affect each person differently. Depending on what your star sign is, where the phase falls in the sky, and thousands of other factors, you may not experience the same as another. I say that positive thinking is the best form of protection but you may also want to carry these protection stones: Smoky Quartz, Black Tourmaline, Black Kyanite, Labradorite. To become more in tune with the planet Mercury check out these crystals: Citrine, Agate, Opal. Good luck to you all!

    Related articles: What Crystals You Should Carry Based On Your Sun Sign

    Crystal Essentials for the Beginner

    You might already have most of these crystal essentials, but what are you missing? 

    Read More