Pity Party First, Kick Ass Later

Sister, I know how it is because I've been there. The world is screaming "calm down" but you know that that's not an option. You want to scream, swear, stomp your feet, pout, binge watch netflix with your favorite comfort food, curl up in a ball, cry, and make the world revolve around your pain. Well guess what? You should. 

I am a firm believer that you must pity party first, and kick ass later. 

 Success and inspiration can be found in the lowest of places. Let yourself have a pity party, eat an entire tub of ice cream, binge watch trash tv, scream at the universe; then you will be able to tackle your issues and conquer the world. Pity Party First, Kick Ass Later. 

Ugly Self-Care is a THING! 

To some people, self care means putting on your favorite facial mask with a bath bomb. However to a lot of us, self care means ugly crying and screaming at the "master creator" for what they have done for you. I call this "ugly self-care" but in reality, it has the most beautiful results. Let me tell you why this works: 

  • You cannot overcome a victim mindset without first thinking like a victim. 
  • You cannot live a happy and productive life with pains and challenges clouding your brain. 
  • It is okay to experience emotions; they are natural. 
  • If you do not let yourself feel, your body and spirit takes on the burdens of the emotional body.

The Victim Mindset vs. The Hero Mindset

 Be the hero in your story and overcome that victim mindset. 

Be the hero in your story and overcome that victim mindset. 

A good story begins with a naive character, the challenge that they endure, and their heroic rise to overcome. A victim mindset is someone who is naive, faces a challenge, and lives in the realm of things like "why me" or "story of my life." They believe that unjust things will always happen to them; thus attracting more negativity into their life. To be a hero, we must first be the victim. Experience victimhood. Figure out your escape. Figure out the obstacles you have to overcome. Turn yourself into a survivor. 

Best Way To Move Clouds Is To First Storm

What happens when the sky is overcast? You pray for it to just rain, thunder, lightning- anything!!! to bring back your beautiful blue sky. Let your body cry it out, let your body scream it out, punch a pillow, do what you need to do to recover. If you keep those pent up emotions inside, your brain will suffer. The Director of the Psychiatry Research Lab at St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center states, "People say they feel better after crying and our data shows this is so." Frey's studies have proven that crying is the body's natural response to any sort of stress, and that many feel comforted and relieved after letting it out. It has been shown that lack of tears can contribute to stress and brain disease down the road.

If you don't let it OUT, your body and aura take on the burdens of keeping it pent up inside

Built up anger, aggression, and stress lingers in the energy body and can cause migraines, tension, and inflammation. It can also contribute to poor gut health like indigestion and constipation. Not to mention your energy suffers greatly. Your aura will be clouded. People will come into contact with you less and less because your energy is no longer compelling. Friends may disappear or treat you differently. Your subtle body will suffer. 

 Take a look at how keeping our emotions bottled up effects the chakras. This is what makes it so important to experience our feelings, thoughts, and emotions. If you keep everything pent up inside, your subtle body suffers; and thus creates a more problematic mood, mindset, and physical health. 

Observe Your Emotions, Then Let Your Emotions Pass

There is a great meditation known as "Leaves on the Stream." In this exercise, you take every thought you have and place it on a leaf floating down the river. This allows you to observe that thought or emotion, and watch it pass. Learning this technique can help you in your day-to-day life by not beating yourself up for experiencing an emotion but also not holding on to that emotion. It helps you separate yourself from that emotion by extending an awareness, and also can help you detach from it to let it float away. Listen below. 

 Set this as your phone background for a peaceful reminder whenever you check the time or texts. Leaves on a stream mindfulness exercise will help you observe and let go. 

Set this as your phone background for a peaceful reminder whenever you check the time or texts. Leaves on a stream mindfulness exercise will help you observe and let go. 

It is human nature to feel, and dangerous to push our feelings aside. To delve into your emotional responses is the ultimate form of courage and strength. To let the tears pour out, the cries and screams be heard, to let yourself be in a state of darkness. Once you are submerged in the darkness you will be able to find your way to the light easier. If you harbor these emotions within you for too long, they will escalate and worsen. PLEASE allow yourself a pity party for whatever bad news you have experienced... and then conquer from there. 

When Does the Pity Party End? 

Deadlines are so important! This will help prevent you from letting your pity party spiral out of control into a prolonged state of depression and victimhood. Mine is anywhere from 1-3 days then you can begin faking it. You may not be completely healed, but you will feel a lot better. Over time, faking it can help you return to your normal self. It can help patch up the holes that were left open after such a big release of emotion. It can replenish your soul and counteract the difficult emotions that you just experienced. 

What is Your Ugly Self-Care / Pity Party Ritual? 

I LOVE to hear from my readers! Let me know what your go-to ugly self care routine is or how letting it out has helped you feel good enough to conquer your goals and kick ass! 

Why Amber Should Be Your Next GO-TO Crystal

One crystal I never shut up about is Amber... which actually isn't even a real crystal. Amber is fossilized tree resin, but it still gives off AMAZING energy and health benefits for all ages (babies too!)

amber healing stone

I used to work at a crystal store and we carried Amber teething necklaces. You would be amazed at how many couples came back with their little ones to rave about how amazed they were at how the Amber really helped! The stories our staff would hear were amazing - like the crystals gave the little ones immediate relief. So awesome! 

If you are interested in buying an Amber teething necklace, PLEASE BE SURE to be cautious while shopping. The photo above is from a reputable seller with amazing reviews and genuine amber. Don't believe me? Read her reviews! You can shop from AmberAndHaze by clicking right here or the photo above.  

Checklist for Amber teething necklace shopping: 

  • Is it safe? (Just because someone can string amber on elastic doesn't mean they should! knotted is the way to go with a safe clasp.)
  • Is it from a reputable seller? (read the reviews, read their bio, get in contact with them!!!!) 
  • Is it genuine amber? (acrylic and glass do not do the same thing, friends.)

I suffer from TMJ pain... well - not anymore I should add. I stopped experiencing the pain that comes along with grinding your teeth after I slept with Amber. Folks - I could have went with Amethyst, but that crystal can really mess with you dreams. I could have went with quartz - A "master healer" - but it keeps you awake. I could have went with any other crystal but I figured if Amber works for a baby's teeth, I'm sure it will work for mine. The next morning after trying this I had NO pain in my jaw! I do not sleep with the crystal anymore and haven't in two years and I have no issues with this anymore. 

 Visit my  shop  or  etsy  page to find beautiful amber jewelry! Check out my  instagram  for more crystal tips

Visit my shop or etsy page to find beautiful amber jewelry! Check out my instagram for more crystal tips

I do wear Amber almost every day as a necklace, around my waist, or as a ring. I have struggled with terrible sciatic pain and back pain and every time I wear Amber I notice significant difference. 

I wear this crystal during my moon cycle. WOMEN - This is one of the best healing stones for period cramps and pains that I have ever met in my life. Wearing it against your body during your moon cycle helps your feminine nature realign. Say goodbye to terrible PMS symptoms... This crystal has got your back!

Amber is amazing for the digestive system (find out more here!), reproductive system and fertility, endocrine system, physical pain, and so much more! It is also an amazing stone for enhancing creativity, joy, and personal power. This crystal identifies with the Solar Plexus and Sacral Chakras. 

Depression and anxiety are also treatable with the use of Amber. Check out this article on: Healing Depression with Crystals

I highly recommend checking out getting your own!